Sex in SF Blog

Sex with Emily: This Week's Sex Menu

Jennifer Pollock — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:35:03 GMT

My list of seven sexy things this week....

1. Sex in the News: Noisy Sex Lands Woman in Court
A British woman was fined for having loud sex with her boyfriend. Neighbors complained the headboard would bang until 6 a.m. (does her boyfriend have a brother?!) They said it kept them up all night, gave their children nightmares, and basically disrupted their lives for two years. With San Franciscans living so close together I thought I’d issue this as a friendly reminder: These walls are thin. But if you’re lucky enough to have a single-family house or cool neighbors, then I say keep going for it.

2. Ben Feldman’s LAUGH ORGY with Chris Garcia
Thursday August 14, 9pm
Grant & Green Saloon
1371 Grant Ave., 415-693-9565
If you’re tired of couching it with a DVD, try a comedy date night. I have no idea what happens at a laugh orgy but it must be funny, right?

3. Sleeping Around Craigslist
Sat, August 16, 6:30pm
Good Vibrations
603 Valencia St., 415-522-5460
If you’re considering take-out sex on Craigslist or just are curious how it all went down for Anna Reed, check out her talk at Good Vibrations.

4. Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad
Sunday, August 17, 8pm
Red Devil Lounge
1695 Polk St., 866-468-3399
Comedy, music, burlesque and some bad girls who’ve been featured on Comedy Central, HBO and MTV.

5. Clock Bar
Westin St. Francis
335 Powell St., 415-397-9222
Sexy ambiance with sexy bartenders mixing sexy drinks. Enough said.

6. TIP: How To Keep it Hot, Part 1
A universal truth: Your sex life will fade at some point. So try this a pre-emptive move right now: Stop focusing on the all those negative, annoying things your partner does, which probably aren’t going to go away anyway. Instead, try refreshing your memory. Close your eyes for two minutes and remember when you first met, how it felt in your body, and all the things that attracted you in the first place.

7. TIP: How To Keep it Hot, Part 2
I know you’ve heard this before: Plan a romantic evening. But have you ever actually tried it? How about trying just one of these things: a massage, a bath, a sexy game. Build it up through the week. Anticipation is sexy. This one bears repeating because it actually work. Just. One. Thing.

7 Sexy Things

Jennifer Pollock — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 22:51:37 GMT

1. Bang Bang Variety Hour presents: Menagerie
Saturday, August 2, 10pm (doors open at 9pm)
Kimo's Penthouse Lounge
1351 Polk St.
bangbangvariety@gmail.com

Check out this performance, which combines cabaret, burlesque and vaudeville. Their promise? That you’ll experience “a crossover between artist and spectator.”

2. Summer Lovin: A Sex Talk with Jane Tollini
Saturday, August 2, 7:30pm
Magic Theater
Building D, Fort Mason
415-441-8001

Try this for foreplay: watch animals mate when you’re out with your mate. You may be surprised to find out what a little “animal love” will do for your own love life.

3. Peepshow: A LIVE Photography Happening
Sunday, August 3, 6pm
Climate Theater
285 Ninth St.
415-263-0830

Live photography show of live nude models, with images projected on their bodies. Artist statement: “I have layered projections of skins from other bodies as well as skins from the natural and built environment onto the landscape of the body of each individual person.”

4. Dirty Words: Litquake's Tribute to SMUT
Sunday, August 3, 7pm
CELLspace
2050 Bryant St.
415-750-1497

All smut, all night long: A corset-fashion show, a burlesque show (San Francisco can’t get enough of its burlesque shows) and readings from some of our favorite local authors.

5. Girl-Girl Tricks for Men (After Hours Workshop)
Wednesday, August 6, 8pm
Good Vibrations
603 Valencia St.
415-522-5460

Men, come learn sex tips from lesbians. Enough said!

photo by Ron Lewis

6. The Butterfly Zone
Conservatory of Flowers
Golden Gate Park
(Until November 2)

Maybe it’s just me, but I think there’s something romantic about watching beautiful butterflies sipping nectar. You can even watch in the dark with a night safari. Channel your inner naturalist and make it a date.

7. Marriage Prep 101
August 15-16
Fort Mason
415-905-8830

Drs. Michelle and Patrick Gannon know a thing or two about keeping a marriage in shape. For some tips, (for all couples, not just married ones!) check out my interview and sign up for their Fort Mason workshop.

7 Sexy Things

7x7 Edit — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:22:44 GMT

1. Sexy Hike
Let’s face it. We’re a cold people in summer. We know it’s warmer and sunnier over the bridges but it’s often hard to get motivated to cross them. Lake Lagunitas is my favorite summer escape: It’s far enough out in Marin that sunshine is nearly guaranteed. You may have to drive a few more minutes but it’s totally worth it: beautiful views, romantic setting. Pack a lunch, hike and have sex in nature.

2. Take A Bath Together
Have I mentioned it’s cold? You don’t need the rose petals or Champagne to make a whole ordeal out of a romantic bath, just some bubbles and maybe throw in a loofah and salts. Try a few drops of sandalwood oil to awaken the sensual senses.

3. 48-Hour Film Project San Francisco
Final Screenings Thursday, July 24, and Monday, July 28
Roxie Cinema
3117 16th St., 415-863-1087

Last weekend some of your fellow San Franciscans sacrificed sleep in order to make short films. Come check out the inspiring, funny, creative and always-entertaining results. Here’s one—Fancy Coffee Drinks—directed by Steve Muller and David Ultan a few years ago … we had a blast making it.

4. Sex Tip: High Heels “may improve sex life”
If you’ve got no time for the kegels (see last week’s blog), the high heels may also do the trick. Sure, heels can make the feet swell but may possibly strengthen your pelvis muscles. I guess everything in life is a trade-off.

5. Conscious Fashionistas
Saturday, July 26, 7pm
Go For A Loop Gallery
1458 San Bruno Ave., 415-819-9652

Who ever really feels they’ve got something to wear? Here you can swap your old favorites for others. “We'll provide a sexy shopping atmosphere and expert advice on which items suit your personality and look.”

6. Sex Tip: Eyes Wide Open
The inclination is to close our eyes during sex, especially during orgasm, but try keeping them open for a more emotional connection: stare into each other’s eyes during foreplay, kissing, the whole shebang until climax.

7. Taxpayers Spend Check on Porn
Maybe you blew it on a new plasma screen or shoes, but according to UPI, many others spent their stimulus check on getting, well, stimulated. If you’re female and you’d like to do the same, you might want to check out www.pornmoviesforwomen.com, which encapsulates hundreds of movies geared toward women and couples, along with a slew of instruction videos.

7 Sexy Things

Matt Knudsen — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:50:59 GMT

1. Bay Area Now 5 Opening Night Party
Saturday, July 19, 8pm
YBCA
701 Mission St., 415-978-2787

There’s always a sexy, single fun crowd at this YBCA event. Plus culture and art and all that stuff. Benefits all around.

2. FLIRT San Francisco's SEXIEST Dance-Play Party
Saturday, July 19, 10pm
1118 Folsom St., 415-572-2707

Their website proclaims Flirt the “hottest-sexiest club to hit SF in years.” All this in a “drama free environment.” Dozens of “play” parties have popped up in recent years. This one’s for couples and single women only. It’s got a swinger-esque vibe but it’s playful, with no pressure from the crowd to participate. You’re free to roam as you please.

3. Ask the Doctors: Fellatio!
Saturday, July 19, 6:30pm
Good Vibrations
603 Valencia St., 415-522-5460

Even if you’re a pro, there’s always room for improvement. Just add a few tricks here and there and it’s a whole different ball game. All your fellatio questions answered before 7:30 on Saturday night—so you may find time to practice before you the night is over.

4. Scientists: Watermelon Yields Viagra-like Effects
Summertime’s favorite fruit will now serve as a double-duty desert. Plus, you avoid those pesky prescriptions.

5. Young People F*ing
In this provocative indie film selected for the Toronto International Film Festival, five couples experiment with relationships and sex. The explicit—but not offensive—sex scenes explore a range of sexual relationships.

6. Sex Tip: Kegel Exercises
You’ve probably heard of Kegel exercises, but if you haven’t tried them, you should. They’re super-easy and the benefits are real: increased sexual sensation for both you and your partner. You can do them anywhere.

7. Six Sex Mistakes Men Make
Only six? Well, here’s the most common six. And of course, women make our fair share of errors too. Best part, sex can only get better if you chose to take the time to learn a few things here and there. Author Lou Paget, one of my favorite sex authors, weighs in on this story here.

7 Sexy Things

Matt Knudsen — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 21:09:56 GMT

1. Get Mortified
Friday, June 27, 8pm, Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St., 415-647-2888

The verdict is out whether or not you’re going on actual “dates” in SF. But if you do and you are this Friday night, check out Get Mortified. A few locals stand up and share stories from childhood: pages from their diaries, love notes from third grade, home movies and other embarrassing yet intimate and mostly hilarious relics. There’s nothing sexier than laughing together, plus it’s a great way to find out if you laugh at the same moments.

2. Radical Love & Relationships (after-hours workshop)
Wednesday, July 2, 8pm, Good Vibrations, 603 Valencia St., 415-522-5460

Wendy O-Matik, a former guest on my show, was the one person who has made me believe there’s actually a way in hell open relationships can work. During this workshop she’ll talk about alternative relationships, guidelines for doing it right, and how to create “a relationship that fits you rather than trying to fit in to a relationship model.”

3. SF Pride Parade

Lots of nudity, some sexy and some not so sexy—it’s all in the eye of the beholder, of course.

4. ’Tis Pity She’s a Whore
June 5–July 6, ACT, 405 Geary St., 415-749-2ACT

A revival classic laden with sexual taboos, violence and passion. “How could a work with language so nasty and sexual politics so sophisticated have been written four centuries ago?” asked the NY Times. Go find out the answer!

5. Sexy rentals
It bugs me when I date a guy and we never agree on what to rent. If you don’t like porn, or just want something more R-rated, I find these sexy indie films a happy medium: Sex and Lucia, Y Tu Mama Tambien, and Secretary.

6. Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl by Sherry Argov

I’ve seen this one on the bookshelf and the title bugs me so I had to check it out. First I flipped to “How to fake an orgasm.” What? I say never do this. You’re reinforcing your partner to do things that didn’t work for you. Overall, this book does have some practical Rules-ish tips that have been rewritten with fresh titles. Bitches is the next installment focusing on many of the same points: Have a life, be independent, don’t wait by the phone, don’t iron his shirt on the first date, and it’s okay to be a little bitchy sometimes. Better than being a doormat, I agree.

7. Great Sex Tips by Anne Hooper

I’m recommending this one after I picked it up and flipped to “Rough sex: Take her by surprise with the strength of your desire. Be physically dominant—a fast, rough romp in which you take charge can be as exciting as an hour of gentle lovemaking.” Amen.

7 Sexy Things

Matt Knudsen — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:28:02 GMT

1. Writers With Drinks
Sunday, June 14, 7:30pm
Make -Out Room, 3225 22nd St., 415-647-2888

The Make-Out Room not only has a cool, intimate vibe, but it really makes you want to make out. Writers With Drinks is one of my favorite, always-entertaining SF events. Check out this Sunday’s reading with SF legend Armisted Maupin.

2. Book Release, Kissing Dead Girls by Daphne Gottlieb
Tuesday, June 17, 7pm
City Lights Book Store, 261 Columbus Ave., 415-362-4921

Daphne celebrates two story collections this evening: Kissing Dead Girls and Fucking Daphne. Read more about both of them here: www.daphnegottlieb.com

3. Ask the Doctors: Threesomes
Thursday, June 19, 6:30pm
Good Vibrations, 603 Valencia St., 415-522-5460

The number two question I get asked (number one is about whether size matters) is: How can I get my partner to have a threesome? I can guarantee with the legendary team of Carol Queen and Robert Lawrence, you’ll have your answers.

4. Not Just a Pretty Face by Stacy Malkin
Friday, June 20, 7pm
Red Hill Books, 401 Cortland Ave., 415-648-5331

Continuing with this week’s literary theme, I recommend this read. I recently stayed with a friend in New York who works in the beauty industry. Upon perusing my favorite lipsticks, gels and creams, she insisted I throw most in the trash. Apparently, there’s lead in my lipstick and carcinogens in my face cream. Not Just A Pretty Face argues that our unregulated sexy products are causing more danger than beauty.

5. BDSM: It’s Not What You Think
Friday, June 20, 10pm
Roxie Theatre, 3117 16th St., 415-703-8650

Or do you even think about it? Are you curious? Lots of people are, but don’t know whom to ask about the world of bondage, domination, sadism and masochism. Walk away from this film informed.

6. Passion Parties

Scrap the barbeque this summer (you know it’ll be fogged in anyway) and instead book a Passion Party, the modern-day Tupperware party for people who talk more about sex than cooking—or at least almost as much. These parties include the latest in sex toys, games, potions and lotions.

7. We-Vibe

The We-Vibe was recently named Top Toy of the Year by the listeners of the popular radio program Talk Sex with Sue Johanson. The We-Vibe stimulates both the G-spot and clitoris at the same time, and can be used alone or while having intercourse. Hallelujah!

7 Sexy Things

Matt Knudsen — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 00:37:39 GMT

1. Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking (Tickle Kitty Press)
by Dr. Sadie Allison

The local author of one of my favorite books, Tickle His Pickle, has released her latest. Read that title again … enough said.

2. World Naked Bike Ride
Sunday, June 7, noon–3pm

Naked biking may not be the first thing that turns you on but, it’s nudity for a good cause: “Protest oil dependency and celebrate the power and individuality of our bodies.”

3. Laugh Orgy
Thursday, June 12, 9pm
Grant and Green Saloon, 1371 Grant Ave., 415-693-9565

It’s always on my list to check out more comedy shows in SF, so I figured a laugh orgy would hit the spot. Laughing is one of the sexiest things you can do.

4. Different Strokes
Tuesday, June 10, 8pm
Good Vibrations
1620 Polk St., 415-345-0400

With so much emphasis on oral these days, why not do something different and beef up your manual skills? In this two-hour class, Good Vibes promises to teach you how to give a “gourmet hand job” that’ll make your guy’s toes curl. I’m there!

5. Hurry Date
Thursday, June 12, 7pm
Amante
570 Green St., 415-362-4400

You can read all about Hurry Date in my post here, but bottom line is that I met a few nice guys in under an hour. When else does that happen?

6. Tantric Massage: The Art of Ecstatic Touch
Friday–Sunday, June 13–15
Harbin Hot Springs
18424 Harbin Springs Rd., Middletown, 877-982-6872

Everyone needs to check out Harbin Hot Springs at least once. Yeah, it sounds kind of hippie-dippy, being naked and all, jumping in hot springs. But you’ll get beyond the nudity and melt and refresh in the mineral waters. Throw in some sensual massage and call it a weekend.

7. Bondage Tape
Available at Good Vibrations

Have you noticed how many beds are without posts these days? Well, meet bondage tape. It comes in mighty handy for blindfolds, bindings or even a makeshift miniskirt. Best of all, it’s ouchless. And, of course, it’s available at Good Vibrations.

The Sexy 7

Matt Knudsen — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:30:00 GMT

1. The 6th Annual Lingerie Party with Pleasure Zone Nightlife
Saturday, May 31, 8:30 pm

Agent Provocateur, here we come. Don your most daring, sexy fashions and indulge your curiosity and innate powers of seduction. Although not self-proclaimed swingers per se, this sex-positive, girlcentric entertainment scene is for both women and couples.

2. "Sex and Sensibility: Ten Women Examine the Lunacy of Modern Love …. In 200 Cartoons"
Until June 8, Cartoon Art Musuem

If you always flip to the cartoons in the New Yorker first, here’s an exhibit for you: ten of the funniest female cartoonists covering “sex, love and everything else that's amusing about relationships today.” There’s endless material.

3. Singles Trivia Night
Tuesday, June 2

If you’re looking for a partner that knows the answer to things like “In what year did the Muppets take Manhattan?” than this is the night for you. Smart and funny tops most lists of desirable traits in mates and here you can cut to the chase.

4. Union Street Festival
Saturday, May 31 and Sunday, June 1

The infamous Union Street Festival is going green, which is all fine and good. But most (ok, many), head here to drink and hook up. Flirt all you want, but please don’t forget to recycle your plastic cups.

5. BeachChic
Saturday, June 7

Start the tanning machines. Zoë Bikini Collection 2008 will put on two sexy fashion shows at Supperclub. It’s a cool event for women, but of course there’s plenty of eye-candy for men too.

6. The Gemini Disco
Friday, May 30

I’m not only partial to this party because I’m a Gemini myself, but Pink is one of those places where everyone dances like they’re about to have sex—or are about to. Throw in a little disco and you never know what could happen.

7. Six Sex Scenes And A Murder
May 30–June 5

Stop by the Lumiere Theater for a titillating evening—or as they put it, “an erotic tangle of passion, desire and whodunit”—written and directed by Bay Area filmmaker Julie Rubio.

7 Sexy Things

Matt Knudsen — Fri, 23 May 2008 14:30:00 GMT

1. Topless A Go Go Returns!
Daily, 6pm–2am, Condor Club, 560 Broadway, 415-781-8222

You’ve never been, not once? Well, it’s time: Check out the topless entertainment, risqué burlesque dancers and VIP Champagne lounges. And it’s returning so it must be worthwhile. Plus it’s at the legendary Condor Club. Text “CONDOR” to 35350 for your free admission.

2. Kinky Art Salon
Saturday, May 24, 3-7pm, Femina Potens Art Gallery, 2199 Market St.

Femina Potens will have “three hot nude models on hand” and give you four hours to make your own kinky art. Ready, set, go.

3. Carnaval San Francisco
Saturday–Sunday, May24–25 in the Mission

I’ll admit I’ve never been to “California's Largest Annual Multi-Cultural Celebration and Grand Parade,” but I’ve heard some good stories. Something about the “much-cherished occasion for many cultures to come together …. to share in creative expression, the abundance of beauty and community, and the sheer joy and good times” has led to many of my friends to find love in the cultural joy of it all. Two of my friends just got married after meeting at Carnaval.

4. Wednesday Night Amateur Night
Every Wednesday, Déjà vu Centerfolds, 391 Broadway, 415-834-0662

Stripping is not just for strippers anymore. At least on Wednesdays. Sure, you’ve taken a different career path, but haven’t you always been a little curious? First place is $500!

5. Robert Adler’s Burlesque Closing Reception
Thursday, May 29, 6–8pm, Hyde Street Gallery, 1987 Hyde St., 415-359-9800

You can’t swing a cat in this town without hitting a new, hip burlesque show, but Adler’s documentary-style photographs will give you an intimate and backstage look at Philadelphia’s famous Troc Burlesque Theater. Adler will be holding a discussion and answering questions from 6:30–7pm.

6. The Art of Tantric Kissing
Thursday, May 29, 7-10pm, Center For Sex and Culture, 1519 Mission St., $60 per couple. Pre-register by using PayPal; RSVP by emailing huggima@yahoo.com or calling 510-410-8876

Kissing is the first thing that goes on in a relationship. Remember when you loved making out? Well, bring it back with some tantric kissing. Couples will learn “a dozen delicious, tantric kissing exercises.” Plus you may even have a three-hour orgasm or so they say … “We’ve added ancient breathing and toning techniques to create a mind-blowing, heart-opening, body-orgasm-inducing, three-hour experience for you all.” Hey, it beats three minutes!

7. Strip Tease for Lovers
Friday, May 30, 7–8pm, Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk St., 415-345-0400

Learn to give your lover a striptease without laughing or tripping. According to local burlesque performer and Lusty Lady dancer, Tricksie Treat, it’s all in your attitude. All genders are welcome to her workshop at Good Vibrations in this fun and active workshop—held not in the front of the store but the gallery for added privacy.

7 Sexy Things

Matt Knudsen — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:02:06 GMT

As we head into the end of May and the beginning of summer, keep these (mostly) local events on your radar should you feel the need to turn up the heat.

1. Masturbate-a-thon
Sunday, May 25, at the Center for Sex & Culture downtown
Just think: Sex with someone you love, and for a great cause.

2. Ask the Doctors: Masturbation
Thursday, May 22, at Good Vibrations 603 Valencia St. (at 17th), 415-522-5460 6:30–7:30pm
May is masturbation month, the perfect opportunity to learn more about everyone’s favorite pastime. Join Dr. Carol Queen, Ph.D., and Dr. Robert Lawrence for one of Good Vibes’ most popular events as they explore the ins and outs of masturbation.

3. Playboy Mansion White Party
This weekend, May 23–25, at the Playboy Mansion in Los Angeles
Forget barbecues for Memorial Day. Check out my video from last year. I’m going again and you should too. Do I ever steer you wrong?

Wendy Merrill

4. Seriously Funny: An Evening with Wendy Merrill (Author of Falling Into Manholes) and Alan Black (Author of Kick the Balls)
Saturday May 24, 8pm, at Edinburgh Castle Pub
C’mon you know you’ve fallen into a manhole or two. Local author Wendy Merrill fell into some you may even recognize yourself. I laughed out loud. I know it’s cliché but I really did. Her book’s been described as “the witty, skewed, rueful misadventures of an in-recovery-from-everything bad/good girl as she searches for love, sex, sanity… and herself.” Take the quiz on the website to find out if there’s a bad/good girl inside of you. Wendy will appear with Alan Black, author of Kick the Balls: An Offensive Suburban Odyssey.

5. Diva & The City Expo
Wednesday, May 28, at Domain Hotel in Sunnyvale
Goody Bags, entry into the raffle for a pair of stilettos from www.JewelsExpression.com, movie passes to Sex and the City courtesy of www.LoneStarTransportation.com, an original Rabbit Pearl from www.BlissConnection.com, a stripper pole from www.BlissPartiesInc.com, appetizers, cosmos, and a fun night of shopping. You don’t necessarily have to be a diva but I know you’ve needed to update your toys collection and buy that stripper pole once and for all. Okay, if not, just come and play!

6. Become an Extraordinary Lover ™, Level 1: For Men who Love Women
Friday May 30, in San Francisco
If he’s not “getting” your subtle cues, he will after one of these all-day courses with local sex therapists Celeste and Danielle.

7. Sex and the City Film Premiere!
Opening Friday, May 30
Watch the trailer here.